I seem to have this problem where I wake up and I have magically gained 10 pounds. I have never figured out how this happens exactly, but it creeps up on me. All the time and effort I spent in Oregon smoking like a chimney, eating vegetables because I was too cheap to buy any other food, and drinking all of Zakk and Erin’s alcohol has gone to waste. I looked damn good when I got home(Kansas) and was super big pimpin’. Now I look like I did when I got there, well not all the way but if I keep drinking beers and eating 3 meals a day I’ll be well on my way. Why can’t I find a healthy way to lose weight without smoking, exercising(because I fucking hate it) or tearing myself up? I hate it! What, cocaine? Meth? Starvation? I think it was easier in Oregon because I only had myself to worry about and I was really almost a “freegan“. Our friend Nate is a freegan and he is skinny as hell! He also runs like 60 miles a day too, so that may have something to do with it. Anyways, I seem to always be doing battle with 10 pounds. I don’t want my arms to look like sausages in casing any more. Ew. I ain’t gettin’ any younger thats for sure so better figure something out. Step one: eliminated sugar today. I feel it is always good to start things on Mondays. I realized my coffee tastes like shit so I will go and get some damn Splenda today. Fuck!

In other news, 4th of July was fun. In order to avoid large crowds because I generally hate most people and loud noises, we went over to our friend’s barbecue and hot dog eating contest. Lots of people I didn’t know but ok. I am awkward around people I don’t know that already know each other. I hate the dance of introductions and feigning interest. I am actually interested in what people do, though I don’t want them to ask me what I do. I have been lucky that most people don’t.

I am happy that because I am with Geoff, most people think I have a college degree. I have been told this. It was almost confusing to one girl at this particular shindig that we went to who asked me where I went to school. I hate explaining my life story so I just told her I went for a while and then I was tired of it. She somehow got out of that and some other things that I was going to go back when we got to Delaware to work on a Masters. I let her roll with it.

So what was I talking about? Oh the 4th. Yeah, good times. The contest consisted of 5 dudes eating one hot dog the fastest. Geoff was unable to hold on to his title. The freegan won. I managed to drink about 18 beers in about 10 hours maybe? Maybe 18. I bet that would explain why I can’t squeeze my fat ass into my jeans. That and for the past few days Geoff and I have been sitting around like slugs watching Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares.